Monday, August 29, 2005

Get Ready To RAWK!!!!

The Rawker is a showcase for the questionable talents of a Classic Rock lovin' Joe Dirt. Here's the story:

If you've ever been in a medium-to-large music store in your life, one of the things you've probably seen is the "I / We Need Talent" table, where bands will post notices or leave flyers asking guitarists or bass players or drummers to call them up and audition. I make a habit of checking out that table at the store quite frequently, and am usually greeted with your standard "Bass Player Looking For Hard Rockin' Band" flyer or "Band Needs Stick Man" card.

But one day, I walked in and was greeted by a pile of about 18 VHS video tapes sitting on the table (apparently it started with 25, but some eager folks had taken a few already). Each one was labeled simply "Rock Singer Audition" on the long side with a piece of masking tape. That's it. Just "Rock Singer Audition". I asked my buddies about them and they began cracking up, telling this harrowing tale about the guy who brought them in and how he kept loudly announcing his intentions of being a rock star. They insisted I take one of his "Audition" tapes and check it out.

So I did. And within seconds after hitting "Play" on my VCR, I KNEW this stuff had to be shared with everyone on the planet. EVERYTHING about this video rules. The mullet hanging out of the back of the trucker hat, the fact that he's topless and occasionally forgets the lyrics (and must read them from an index card), the chinese zodiac calendar hanging on the wall, just below the window dressing - BUT THERE'S NO WINDOW... And the music! IT RAWKS!

Rawk on, man!

Thursday, August 25, 2005

Playing a Platinum Record

Ever see a gold or platinum record on display and wondered what it would sound like to play it? OK, I have. but I'm weird anyway. Heres's A Story About A Guy Who Did Just That, And What He Found On The Grooves

Long story short is that I used to be in a cheesy Christian band (regrettably) and we had a single that was on a double-CD compilation. This comp sold 250,000 copies and since it contained two CDs the RIAA certified it platinum. I have possessed a platinum record for the past six or seven years. I had it hanging over the toilet in my bathroom. Anyways, last Saturday my friends and I busted it out of the frame and put it on a turntable.

Saturday, August 20, 2005

Just Another Saturday In The Neighborhood

Yee-Haw! Git-R-Done!

Friday, August 19, 2005

Dentists Office Cam

Here's A Live View From A Dentist's Office In NYC Thankfully, no drilling sounds.

Thursday, August 18, 2005

Comic Book Reading As A Kid Finally Pays Off

Spelling Nazi
You scored 96 Spelling smarts!
Okay so you've either cheated, or you know all the vocabulary rules by now. "I before E, except after c." bla bla bla. Great job. You know how to spell, and you might be a bit anal retentive about it too. Not a bad thing mind you, but I get picked on for it. An answer key is what you're after?

My test tracked 1 variable How you compared to other people your age and gender:

free online datingfree online dating
You scored higher than 66% on Spelling smarts
Link: The Everyday Spelling Test written by charlifeathers on Ok Cupid

Thursday, August 11, 2005

A Proud Non-Geek

Does this mean I actually have a life?

My computer geek score is greater than 4% of all people in the world! How do you compare? Click here to find out!

Monday, August 08, 2005

This Is Beetle Is As Bad As Can

From The Howard Stern Show - The Beetlejuice Song

Ai Chihuahua!

A collection of Spanish Adult Movie Posters.