Monday, August 29, 2005

Get Ready To RAWK!!!!

The Rawker is a showcase for the questionable talents of a Classic Rock lovin' Joe Dirt. Here's the story:

If you've ever been in a medium-to-large music store in your life, one of the things you've probably seen is the "I / We Need Talent" table, where bands will post notices or leave flyers asking guitarists or bass players or drummers to call them up and audition. I make a habit of checking out that table at the store quite frequently, and am usually greeted with your standard "Bass Player Looking For Hard Rockin' Band" flyer or "Band Needs Stick Man" card.

But one day, I walked in and was greeted by a pile of about 18 VHS video tapes sitting on the table (apparently it started with 25, but some eager folks had taken a few already). Each one was labeled simply "Rock Singer Audition" on the long side with a piece of masking tape. That's it. Just "Rock Singer Audition". I asked my buddies about them and they began cracking up, telling this harrowing tale about the guy who brought them in and how he kept loudly announcing his intentions of being a rock star. They insisted I take one of his "Audition" tapes and check it out.

So I did. And within seconds after hitting "Play" on my VCR, I KNEW this stuff had to be shared with everyone on the planet. EVERYTHING about this video rules. The mullet hanging out of the back of the trucker hat, the fact that he's topless and occasionally forgets the lyrics (and must read them from an index card), the chinese zodiac calendar hanging on the wall, just below the window dressing - BUT THERE'S NO WINDOW... And the music! IT RAWKS!

Rawk on, man!